La La La

"You should praise the muliltated world.
Remember the moments we were together
in a white room and the curtain fluttered.
Return in thought to the concert where music flared.
You gathered acorns in the park in autumn
and leaved eddied over the earth's scars." -Adam Zagajewski

     This is excerpted from the poem, "Try To Praise The Mutilated World," that was reprinted in The New Yorker shortly after 9-11-01. The words and images have stayed with me for the past ten years. I didn't think I'd be so emotional today, but it's hard to escape the coverage on t.v. - the eeriness of the similarly perfect weather. I was a student-teacher at Laguardia High School ten years ago today. I stood in front of thirty intimidating fourteen-year-old faces and had to put on a brave face while my dad -- who worked at the World Trade Center -- was unreachable.  I quickly became responsible for the safety of these thirty students, while internally cowering at the sound of any loud noise outside. I'd say it was the day I grew up.
     I'm so sad for the people who lost their loved ones. I look at my children and think about how they have no idea what happened...no idea that they could have lost their grandfather. No idea how fortunate they are, how unfortunate others were. They will read about that day at some point in their future - perhaps with me, or if not, most certainly in a classroom. They will see images, too, but the most impressionable stories will certainly be the ones passed down from friends or friends of friends. They will know someone touched by the tragedy, if not first-hand, perhaps second or third. My family was lucky. My dad was able to escape from the crumbling towers and lived to see four of his grandchildren come in to the world over the past ten years.
     Today, reading with them is the necessary but welcome escape from thinking about the tragedy. La La La - still the absurd in daily life. La La La - I''ll think about it another time. La La La, life is still innocent in the minds of most children...